I just read this article on the Men’s Rights movement: http://www.gq.com/news-politics/big-issues/201503/mens-rights-activism-the-red-pill?currentPage=1

…and it disturbed me. And the comments, of course. Even if the article were written with bias, even if you stripped away that bias, what lies at the core of the MRA sentiment disturbs me. But I believe in not dismissing people’s opinions out of hand, unlike the appearance of their absolute anti-feminism.

But I wanted to say a few things, just to process my thoughts:

– My feminism includes helping male victims of rape and domestic violence, because women are not powerless or weak and they can hurt men—and men who are victims of sexual or domestic violence are not weak or feminine (not that either of those things are bad)

– My feminism believes in a world where all individuals are free to pursue education and careers of their choosing, and no one is expected to provide for anyone else based on gender or sex; families that choose to have a provider and a homemaker can do so for either gender, without stigmas attached

– My feminism believes that all genders are equally capable of (and interested in) childcare, and the law should reflect that

– My feminism believes that women are equal and thus not requiring protection or chivalry, except that extended to ALL human beings—hold open doors for anyone, or don’t if they don’t wish it (because people are individuals with varying desires and opinions); protect all people from violence or disasters, but perhaps let capable adults of ALL genders stay behind to help if necessary; etc.—we can be kind and polite to everyone, without being patronizing to anyone

– My politics mean I mostly don’t believe in war or drafts of any kind, but my feminism believes that women are just as capable of being soldiers as men, and I suppose any drafts should reflect that

– My politics believe in an economy which supports all people and seeks to help ALL genders rise from homelessness or jobs without proper benefits

– My feminism believes in helping strip toxic masculinity from society so that men are free to express themselves in ways they are currently restricted from, and helps free all of us from expectations and stereotypes of gender, sex, sexuality, appearance, and identity (NOT just ‘flip’ the power structure)

But yes, I will admit:

– I believe that fathers have an equal right to care for their children, but that NO ONE can forcibly use an unwilling human being’s body to stay alive for any reason (even corpses can refuse to donate organs if they did not consent to it)

– I believe that women (and men) should be able to say no to romantic or sexual advances for ANY reason and at ANY time, and that men (and women) should be able to handle this with maturity and respect, not violence and anger

– I believe the key to romantic and sexual encounters is safe, informed consent—and I do not believe children and young teenagers have the capacity to be informed or self-aware enough to consent; I do, however, believe that if they seek help rather than acting on impulses that harm others, sex offenders should be met with some measure of understanding

– And while I believe that it is wrong to accuse anyone falsely and that suffering the stigma of a false accusation can be difficult, I will never believe that dealing with a false accusation is equal to RAPE—so I cannot condone a society or culture which prizes the prevention of false accusations over the prevention of actual violence—and if the prevention of false accusations is truly the goal, then we should be teaching young MEN to not drink too much, or go home with someone they do not know, or attend wild parties—not place the burden on young women (I do want to be clear that I personally believe the rate of false accusations is highly exaggerated and that dealing with the epidemic of rape by addressing rape culture is important; I am simply trying to address the logic of MRA with some understanding)

– And I believe that expressing my opinions on feminism or politics—and just my opinions, with no calls for censorship or penalties of any kind to those whose opinions I oppose—should NOT result in threats or insults or being told to shut up